How to Overcome Prenup Resistance: Building Trust and Security
- Linda Varga
- Aug 7
- 2 min read
Short Answer: To overcome prenup resistance, focus on building trust through open communication, mutual respect, and transparency. Reframe the conversation around protection—not fear—and show your partner how a well-drafted prenuptial agreement can benefit both of you. Give them space, time, and the option to consult their own attorney.
Why Some People Resist the Idea of a Prenup
Prenups can stir up fear, defensiveness, or hurt. Common concerns include:
“Do you think we’re going to get divorced?”
“Are you trying to protect yourself from me?”
“I don’t want to start our marriage with mistrust.”
These are emotional, vulnerable reactions—and they deserve thoughtful responses.
Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Prenup Resistance
1. Lead with Empathy, Not Legal Jargon
Start by acknowledging your partner’s feelings. Let them know that you’re not trying to create distance—you’re trying to build a plan that protects you both.
What to say: “I know this isn’t a romantic topic, but I think we should talk about how to protect each other, no matter what life brings.”
2. Reframe the Prenup as a Planning Tool
A prenuptial agreement isn’t about predicting divorce—it’s about:
Protecting family assets or children from a prior relationship
Setting expectations in case of unexpected events
Reducing future legal costs and emotional conflict
Helpful framing: “This is part of how we take care of each other—just like getting insurance or creating an estate plan.”
3. Explain the Mutual Benefits
A fair prenup can:
Preserve financial independence for both spouses
Clarify how to handle debts and expenses
Avoid state default laws that may not reflect your wishes
Make it clear that you’re not asking for one-sided protections.
4. Give Them Time and Space
Never rush the conversation or spring a prenup on your partner close to the wedding. California law requires:
Full financial disclosure
At least seven days to review before signing
Independent legal counsel for both parties
The more time your partner has, the more empowered they’ll feel.
5. Encourage Independent Legal Advice
Let your partner choose their own attorney. This shows:
Respect for their rights
That you’re not hiding anything
A desire for fairness
Pro tip: Offer to pay for their attorney if that helps them feel more comfortable.
6. Consider Prenup Mediation
If direct conversations aren’t working, a neutral third party like a mediator or collaborative attorney can facilitate productive dialogue and reduce emotional tension.
When Resistance Turns Into Resolution
Many couples find that once they fully understand the purpose of a prenup—and feel supported throughout the process—it actually strengthens the relationship. It opens the door to ongoing financial communication, boundary-setting, and future planning.
Let Moravec, Varga & Mooney Help You Build the Right Foundation
We help engaged couples across California create prenuptial agreements that are:
Legally enforceable
Fair and thoughtful
Tailored to their unique financial and family goals
Contact us today to start a healthy, respectful prenup process that builds trust—not conflict.
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