How to Talk to Your Partner About a Prenup
- Linda Varga
- Aug 2
- 2 min read
Short Answer: To talk to your partner about a prenup, approach the conversation early, emphasize fairness and protection for both parties, and frame it as part of responsible life planning—not distrust. Keep the discussion open, respectful, and focused on shared goals.
Why This Conversation Matters
Discussing a prenuptial agreement isn’t about preparing for failure—it’s about setting expectations, protecting your financial futures, and preventing conflict down the road.
A good prenup benefits both partners. But the conversation can be sensitive, especially if your partner feels blindsided or hurt by the idea.
7 Steps to Talk About a Prenup with Respect and Clarity
1. Start the Conversation Early
Don’t wait until wedding plans are in full swing. Bring up the idea of a prenup well before the big day—ideally before engagement or soon after.
✅ Why it helps: Early conversations feel less pressured and more collaborative.
2. Be Honest About Your Intentions
Share your reasons for wanting a prenup. These might include:
Protecting a family business or inheritance
Avoiding future conflict
Supporting children from a previous relationship
Preserving financial independence
✅ Tip: Focus on planning, not pessimism.
3. Frame It as a Joint Planning Tool
Position the prenup as something that protects both of you, not just one side.
✅ Example: “This isn’t just about protecting my assets—it’s about making sure we both feel financially secure and protected.”
4. Avoid Ultimatums or Emotional Pressure
Give your partner time to process the idea. Let them ask questions and bring in their own attorney when the time comes.
✅ Tip: A respectful, low-pressure approach encourages trust—not fear.
5. Listen to Their Concerns
Your partner might worry that a prenup signals a lack of trust. Acknowledge their feelings and create space for honest dialogue.
✅ What to say: “I understand how this might feel unexpected—can we talk about what each of us hopes for in the future?”
6. Focus on Fairness, Not Control
A one-sided prenup is likely to cause tension—and may not be enforceable in California. Let your partner know you want something that’s fair and transparent for both of you.
✅ Tip: Share how you'd feel if the roles were reversed.
7. Consider Professional Help
A mediator, therapist, or financial planner can guide conversations and help both partners feel supported through the process.
✅ Why it helps: Third-party professionals bring objectivity and structure.
Reframing the Prenup: What It's Really About
✅ It’s a communication tool, not just a legal one
✅ It helps clarify expectations and avoid disputes
✅ It protects both partners’ futures
✅ It can complement your estate planning goals
We Can Help You Start the Conversation
At Moravec, Varga & Mooney, we work with engaged couples to create fair, thoughtful, and legally sound prenuptial agreements. We can also advise you on how to talk to your partner and what steps to take next.
Contact us today for a confidential consultation and expert guidance on building a strong foundation for your marriage.
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